Sunday, 16 August 2020

Outsider

Career happens to be the most significant part of our lives. It defines not only our choices but our values as well. Everything done in first two decades is to figure out what you truly want (or that’s the idea at least), the next three decades to achieve it and lead a life that’s high on contentment more than anything else. (Midway disclaimer: I’m all for changing multiple careers at different points in life and know many beautiful stories around that as well but you get the point, right?)

Well, that being said, if you’ve relocated to another place (across cities, states or countries) to chase your dream career, this one is for you.

1.    The convincing-the opposition.
Consider yourself lucky if your parents were onboard with your career choice AND your decision to relocate to chase it. 
But if that wasn’t the case (at least with the relocating decision), hear me out: You’ve fought countless battles of differing perceptions, rebelled your way through or even made a promise to return if all this doesn’t work out the way you’ve planned. Most examples/stories that you’ve quoted to try and prove to your parents that this choice of career/relocation will actually work out, were more for yourself than them. You’ve powered through fears and uncertainties and your heart knows it.


2.     The million little, harmless lies.
Parents being parents will have on top of their priority list- your safety and health. You’ve somehow become accustomed to the million small innocent lies you tell them for the simple reason that you don’t want them worried sick about you. After all, this transition is not for weeks or months or even a couple years – you may spend major part of your life in this new, strange place that you’re trying to embrace. 
That having said, some small comforting lies include (but are not limited to): you’ve had all your meals properly, you’re healthy and are not experiencing any troubles from anyone.
The reality though: you may be eating once a day or just surviving on instant noodles, you get sick every few months, you miss mom’s food and cry about it too, you broke up recently, you don’t feel safe about your job (or have already lost it). But on the daily phone call from your mom: you’re all fine and having the best time of your life! (Midway disclaimer 2: This is not, in any way, an encouragement to lie. This is experience and a common observation talking.)

3.     The learning to trust strangers.
The most common piece of advice you got growing up was how not to share details of your whereabouts with strangers/not consume anything given by them. Moving to this new place, you’ve learnt to trust your apartment’s security guards more than your relatives or have already established an amazing trust relationship with the cafĂ© owner across the street or that familiar auto rickshaw guy who knows your whereabouts better than your partner/roommate does!  

4.     The coworkers become your extended family.
You spend most part of your day (and most of your days) around your coworkers, getting to know them not just as professionals but as individuals too. Up until the moving-out, your medium to get to know other people were your parents/siblings/ or being introduced by a common friend. But being around coworkers, you’ve not only developed a better personality but have also realized that you don’t need a medium anymore. You can now introduce yourself to other people with similar interests and have a good connection/bond going on.
The coworkers have (very subtly) become an extended, chosen family of yours that you can find solace around and confide in when in need.

5.     The sudden growth in decision making.
From not being able to decide on a shirt/dress without running it by your mom, you’ve gone to buying that new phone/bike/car/renting a house, all on your own. From a time when your parents were worried of “bad influences” to a time where you choose your flat-mates, you’ve come a long way in decision-making!

 

6.     The realization of financial security/freedom being important.
Irrespective of career, I’m sure some initial months we’ve all been pretty broke, borrowing our way through life. (I know you had that sigh of relief if this wasn’t the case for you)
Financial freedom has subtly made a decent place on your priority list and you better understand the difficult times (monetary) your parents would’ve been through, raising you.

 

7.     The instant new best friends – applications.
You heavily depend on google maps, food delivery apps, transport platforms etc. (the list is pretty long) to get through your day. (Heartfelt thanks to technology, yeah?)

 

8.     The super power - enjoying solitude - realized.
Introverts, anyway, were born with this superpower - to be comfortable being alone - but extroverts have also come to realize its importance now. (I bet introverts are either grinning and/or doing a little dance. Extroverts nodding in agreement, yeah? It’s okay!)
Solitude is so important and can do wonders when you need to reflect on yourself and sort your thoughts out!

 

9.     The zillion lessons learnt.
- Finance management
- Time management
- Kindness goes a long way
- Self-care is important (mental, emotional and physical)
- Being carefree and enjoying what you do is amazing
(Alright, this is going to need a whole other dedicated post!) 

10.  The endless growth in the person that you’re. 
Not only you’ve found the time and resources to actually make something meaningful out of your hobbies, you’ve also picked up new interests – reading, music, singing, dancing, cooking – or something as simple (but immensely important) as learning the local language of this strange, new place. 

 

If you related to any (or most or all) of it, from one outsider to another: I hope you’re crushing your goals only to be encouraged to set new ones and achieve them too; prove to everyone that you had a vision and it was worth every bit of effort made.

On that note, cheers!