Outsider

Career happens to be the most significant part of our lives. It defines not only our choices but our values as well. Everything done in first two decades is to figure out what you truly want (or that’s the idea at least), the next three decades to achieve it and lead a life that’s high on contentment more than anything else. (Midway disclaimer: I’m all for changing multiple careers at different points in life and know many beautiful stories around that as well but you get the point, right?)

Well, that being said, if you’ve relocated to another place (across cities, states or countries) to chase your dream career, this one is for you.

1.    The convincing-the opposition.
Consider yourself lucky if your parents were onboard with your career choice AND your decision to relocate to chase it. 
But if that wasn’t the case (at least with the relocating decision), hear me out: You’ve fought countless battles of differing perceptions, rebelled your way through or even made a promise to return if all this doesn’t work out the way you’ve planned. Most examples/stories that you’ve quoted to try and prove to your parents that this choice of career/relocation will actually work out, were more for yourself than them. You’ve powered through fears and uncertainties and your heart knows it.

2.     The million little, harmless lies.
Parents being parents will have on top of their priority list- your safety and health. You’ve somehow become accustomed to the million small innocent lies you tell them for the simple reason that you don’t want them worried sick about you. After all, this transition is not for weeks or months or even a couple years – you may spend major part of your life in this new, strange place that you’re trying to embrace. 
That having said, some small comforting lies include (but are not limited to): you’ve had all your meals properly, you’re healthy and are not experiencing any troubles from anyone.
The reality though: you may be eating once a day or just surviving on instant noodles, you get sick every few months, you miss mom’s food and cry about it too, you broke up recently, you don’t feel safe about your job (or have already lost it). But on the daily phone call from your mom: you’re all fine and having the best time of your life! (Midway disclaimer 2: This is not, in any way, an encouragement to lie. This is experience and a common observation talking.)

3.     The learning to trust strangers.
The most common piece of advice you got growing up was how not to share details of your whereabouts with strangers/not consume anything given by them. Moving to this new place, you’ve learnt to trust your apartment’s security guards more than your relatives or have already established an amazing trust relationship with the café owner across the street or that familiar auto rickshaw guy who knows your whereabouts better than your partner/roommate does!  

4.     The coworkers become your extended family.
You spend most part of your day (and most of your days) around your coworkers, getting to know them not just as professionals but as individuals too. Up until the moving-out, your medium to get to know other people were your parents/siblings/ or being introduced by a common friend. But being around coworkers, you’ve not only developed a better personality but have also realized that you don’t need a medium anymore. You can now introduce yourself to other people with similar interests and have a good connection/bond going on.
The coworkers have (very subtly) become an extended, chosen family of yours that you can find solace around and confide in when in need.

5.     The sudden growth in decision making.
From not being able to decide on a shirt/dress without running it by your mom, you’ve gone to buying that new phone/bike/car/renting a house, all on your own. From a time when your parents were worried of “bad influences” to a time where you choose your flat-mates, you’ve come a long way in decision-making!

 

6.     The realization of financial security/freedom being important.
Irrespective of career, I’m sure some initial months we’ve all been pretty broke, borrowing our way through life. (I know you had that sigh of relief if this wasn’t the case for you)
Financial freedom has subtly made a decent place on your priority list and you better understand the difficult times (monetary) your parents would’ve been through, raising you.

 

7.     The instant new best friends – applications.
You heavily depend on google maps, food delivery apps, transport platforms etc. (the list is pretty long) to get through your day. (Heartfelt thanks to technology, yeah?)

 

8.     The super power - enjoying solitude - realized.
Introverts, anyway, were born with this superpower - to be comfortable being alone - but extroverts have also come to realize its importance now. (I bet introverts are either grinning and/or doing a little dance. Extroverts nodding in agreement, yeah? It’s okay!)
Solitude is so important and can do wonders when you need to reflect on yourself and sort your thoughts out!

 

9.     The zillion lessons learnt.
- Finance management
- Time management
- Kindness goes a long way
- Self-care is important (mental, emotional and physical)
- Being carefree and enjoying what you do is amazing
(Alright, this is going to need a whole other dedicated post!) 

10.  The endless growth in the person that you’re. 
Not only you’ve found the time and resources to actually make something meaningful out of your hobbies, you’ve also picked up new interests – reading, music, singing, dancing, cooking – or something as simple (but immensely important) as learning the local language of this strange, new place. 

 

If you related to any (or most or all) of it, from one outsider to another: I hope you’re crushing your goals only to be encouraged to set new ones and achieve them too; prove to everyone that you had a vision and it was worth every bit of effort made.

On that note, cheers!

College - A Destination Turned Journey

What once was a destination (making it to a college), turned into a four year long journey itself. From being a little nervous on the first day of stepping into a different place away from home to feeling anxious on the last day stepping out of it, from having fingers crossed to pass in a subject to dancing till your feet hurt in the college fest, from making new friends to hugging them goodbye on the last day of college, this four year long journey teaches probably most of the lessons life has in store for you. It clears out pretty much everything that would need clarity in life. It’s like a training that prepares for the life ahead.
It teaches that not every battle is worth fighting and that one should choose the battles that are worth fighting. It teaches that not everyone is going to like you and that’s not the end of the world and that no matter what you do, you might not be as important to people as they may be to you. It teaches you to stand your ground and not be intimidated, live with self-respect, not let anyone treat you like an option, keep up whatever good work you’re doing even if you don’t have a big audience and most important of all, to not be scared at all!
This might seem a bit exaggerated in a way, but I guess we tend to set and think of most of the things in life as a milestone and hence usually don’t have the vision to see everything as a journey in itself. Just want to get there or get past it. Be it scoring in tenth grade or twelfth or making it to a college or even getting a job. They are all journeys within themselves, short-termed or long-termed, and are often mistakenly set as destinations (or milestones).
The point is we just so badly want to make it to the destinations that we often forget to enjoy our journey. And no matter how beautiful or important the destination may be, once you make it to it, you miss the journey even if it wasn’t easy. So, don’t rush towards the destination or wish for the journey to end faster so much that you miss out on embracing the things that the journey had to offer to you.
Sure, you kind of lose your composure being on these journeys to become a better, stronger version of yourself but in the end, it all seems worth it!
Well, for those who are about to step out of college and embark on a new journey altogether, Good Luck! 😊

Childhood

Most of us find ourselves missing our childhood in one way or the other as we grow up. I don’t mean to sound clingy, but growing up does take a toll on everyone, I guess. Looking at the childhood photos or may be a small baby, going through all the years all over again in an instant and trying to figure out what exactly went wrong. Being amazed by how much you have been through and came out stronger than ever, at the same time feeling a bit anxious and stupid for not having done something remarkable in so long a time. Imagining the directions in which your life could have possibly gone and comparing it with the one in which it actually did go. Call it mediocrity or the inability of humans to appreciate things in life, but most grownups aren’t really satisfied with their journey to adulthood.
Kudos to all the life lessons you get growing up. Be it travelling alone, taking care of yourself, managing time and everything, gaining endurance, learning the ways of this highly manipulative, profit-oriented, self-centered world. But all this at the cost of innocence and purity and everything else nice that we carried within ourselves as a child! I don’t imply for the fairy tale part to be true or carry on, but isn’t there still a part that wishes you didn’t have to grow up and go through this exhaustive, hopeless and sad lessons learning process? Isn’t there still this wish that the world worked with simplicity, just how your childhood-self wanted it to? Isn’t there still that tiny wish that you didn’t have to deal with all the politics and the mind games?
We feel burdened as we grow up,  not because we carry a lot of responsibilities but because we don’t really speak our mind and heart just to get along and end up feeling heavy-hearted or alone.

What if growing up only meant learning to cross roads or learning to drive a vehicle or learning science and how the world works or being able to remember the words and the grammar rules of different languages or hearing all the historical tales and turning into a courageous, intelligent, responsible, wonderful, loving and lovable person? What if growing up didn’t turn us into anything as double-standard or two-faced or hypocrite or profit-oriented or manipulative or selfish or mediocre, that it actually kind of does? Why does growing up rob us of our childhood innocence and purity of heart that we are born with? Where do all the carefree smiles and the hopefulness and simplicity of the life go as we grow up? What’s with hard hard-heartedness and all the complicacy we go through as we grow up?
As a kid, everyone around us wishes for us to grow into an amazing, wonderful adult. But do we? Or even did they?
May be we need to try to keep the nice things about ourselves intact as we grow up and growing up might turn out to be a little less painful and disappointing.

Passion

A soul driven by passion is a soul never failed and is a soul lived to the fullest! And more importantly, a passionate soul leaves an ever-lasting impression on the hearts of those who were lucky enough to have known it!
Passion drives us through the roughest of our times. I guess, the greatest of changes made in this world were made by a passion driven heart. 
You lose track of time when you are doing something you love or are passionate about.
Passion is when you get filled with wonder while stating an
amazing fact to a class as much as you did when you came across it the first time. The disinterested students don’t bother you.
Passion is when you have that amazing smile on your face while singing to an audience, even though you might not be getting the response you expected. You sing anyway because you just love it so much.
Passion is when falling down or getting hurt doesn't stop you from dancing.
Passion is when a failed recipe doesn’t stop from you from creating another one each coming day.
At some point, passion is basically not caring at all about the criticism or failures or hurdles that you face while doing something that your heart beats for! Because, you are not doing that to get praise or be the best at it.
Deep down, you just know that you can always get better at things and therefore, you don’t worry as to where you stand today.
Passion is, sometimes, a way of escapism from all the problems and distractions. Passion doesn’t let your faith shake from going through all the bad experiences and discouragements you face while chasing your dreams. And to have found your passion is probably the best thing that will ever happen to you!

HOME

Whoever said “There’s no place like home” probably had no idea just how accurate he was!
All of us, at one point or the other in our teenage had gone on and on about going to college and living it up with friends in hostels and what not.
It’s only after going away from home, that we realized how badly we miss it and that now, we would give anything to just go back to home and never have to leave it again!
Needless to mention, Maa Ke Hath Ka Khana, is something which just has to cross our minds to make us cry real bad! Suddenly, all the tantrums your mom would throw at you, don’t matter anymore. Instead, they seem so worthwhile in life and you kind of love it even! Because after all is said and done, mom is someone who sees right through the dustiest corners of your mixed-up soul and sorts your life like nobody else! And obviously, home is where your mom is!
No matter what all lessons you learn being away from home and how independent & strong you become and figure out what life is all about, there are times when all of it doesn’t seem to be of as much worth as the price you pay for it.
Any place other than home is somehow, just hostile.
It’s only when you have no one around to serve you food at your table or hand you medicines when you’re sick, that health and food gets the deserved place on your priority list. So yeah, your priorities do get shuffled up to the right places and you get all organized and prepared for the challenges ahead.
Merely being at home is a pleasure!
There is no place you would want to go to as badly as you would want to come to home from. So, probably the only nice thing about being away from home is the feeling of excitement when returning to it.